What I've learned so far: I can't, and I won't do anything that I don't like to do. The 'can't' part is a fact: I've known it all along; but the 'won't' is an assertion I've made. The most valuable aspect of this doctoral process is that it leads to a decision that would forcefully bring passion and attitude.
Passion to defend your ideas, passion to understand things, and attitude to face twists and turns on the way. It's an openness to any consequence, it's faith in the unknow, more than a finesse of a mental capacity or the completion of an intellectual feat. It has no end. It goes with you.
It's like Nascar: you are happy to see the cars turning several times around the oval until they make it to the end, and at the same time there is a part of you that would also be happy to see a crash, a fire.
